Mixed Feelings

Ever have that feeling where you are lost in your mind? Where thoughts full of bullshit circle round your heads... Well.. I Do!

During this gruesome "holiday", i reflected on what i had felt for people through my interactions with them. After much thoughts, i came to a conclusion. I realized that the people we presume we had a crush on, aren't really a crush. They are simply someone we find interesting! Pretty easy right! Nah..

To be honest, people get the wrong impression all the time. I mean... we didn't ask directly but we always assume and that's why, there are always unnecessary complications! Come to think of it, why feel this way? Just ask right? Well.. not that simple either.

When we ask, we tend to be afraid, afraid of accidentally stepping over the line and be "friendzoned". I myself experience this a lot of times. Whenever i try to ask a girl out for dinner, she will go like "Sorry Bruh. Not free this week. Maybe some other time?" BAM! The word "Bruh" just disintegrates my entire soul again! :( Sometimes, we move on but sometimes, we stay there pondering about that word. It's not that hard actually.. it just means "You are my friend and that's as far as you can get"

Once we know that, we start to distance ourselves from that party, not because we are upset, but because we needed space. Space to recover. Space to rebuild that friendship once again. Then.. shit happens. At this point in time, we meet someone cute.(LET girl be called Z). Pretty lady Z asks you out and you say yes. That outing was just a regular outing to Z but to you, it means a lot. You hallucinate once again and thought to yourself.."SHE LIKES MEH".. Well.. no one knows.

As time goes on, you think of Z and forgo your previous crush whom you treasure so deeply.
Because you think you like Z, the cycle of thoughts starts running through your mind again. Whenever you see her smile, it feels as though your world reignites, giving you hope and serenity.

However, deep down inside, you know(or do you) its just a "one off" person you find lovely, a one off feeling that you MAY not get again if you were to move on and see another interesting party. Then again, you hope to distance yourself but this time, the more you distance, the more painful and irritating it gets. You wonder, "Why can't i just not give a damn?".

As you ponder, you think of possibilities. You wanna give a shot at asking her out but afraid that after another outing, you will be categorized by Z in the "bruhzone" and never be able to come out from that hell zone. The more you think, the more you lose faith in yourself and the more you lose faith in yourself, the more your chances are being unexplored.

I'm sitting right at my desk typing this reflection with a beer in my hand. After all this time, i can only tell myself that if i didn't try, i won't know and to know, i will have to give myself ample "alone time" and asks myself once in a while, is she the one i want to be with in the future. Going to try or have tried... only the future will know.

What Would You Do If You Were In My Shoes?

           

             We sat down, on the cold hard floor, desperately trying to "mug" for the upcoming O'levels Examination. Clearly, i could not focus because of her.( "Her"? Oh well, its just my crush for the past 8 years or so.) I was in a dilemma, confused whether i should express my oppressing feelings for her. She sat there, looking around, fumbling with her phone, messing with her ruler (.....), not focusing as well, due to having a short attention span. "This isn't productive learning!" She said. I kept myself mum. I wanted to step in, just giving her some work or clarifying some doubts she have about the Physics subject, but i was afraid. I fear that such trivial act would arouse suspicion in her, indirectly allowing her to think (or know) that i'm actually fond of her. I fear that such, would shun her away from me, that i would lose a friend just like that.
                                      We walked down the route to the train station, her with her earpiece on. I decided to initiate. "So, anyone invited you out for prom?" She looked forward, not giving me a single glance and replied, "I don't get why boys ask girls out for prom. I mean, its just a dinner right?" (*That is literally not answering my question). I didn't react in any way, just walk as per usual...
            Me,being a gentleman, decided to walk her home, since we lived just a stone's throw away from each other. Throughout the journey, i tried to talk, but clearly, she wasn't really interested in what i'm saying. One sentence that she said, in particular, pricked my heart. She said, "Haiz.. (sigh). I need someone to motivate me to study." Simple sentence right? NO! I actually felt pain. Well, I was thinking in my very brains, "Wow, i tried to ask you out countless times to study but yet you aren't motivated?" It was at that point in time that i realized that my feelings for her, were too deep. I tried my best but nothing paid off. Basically, my countless efforts weren't enough to at least make a slight impact on her, aka i'm useless in helping her from the very start. Again, i kept mum, while thoughts cycled in my mind.               I told myself that its time i give up. "Let it go!" as the movie Frozen says, I wanted to simply put the pain down and move on, cause apparently, its impossible for us to even start, or i should say, i'm not her cup of tea. However, some place in my heart, the feelings would still reminiscence and the urge to tell her, "Hey i like you" exist...
            Its just 5 more days to my final lap, Os but i'm actually thinking of this matter. Perhaps i should just ask her out for the last time to give her some tips and verbal encouragements. (However, the main question would still be, whether or not her parents would allow her to go out.)To be honest, I would never be able to see her after Os ever again, for various reasons which i don't bother explaining.                    To express my feelings or not to? What would you do if you were in my shoes?                                     

Ideal girl

Hi! I'm kind of random today, so yeah, gonna post a random blog post : P

Today, i'm going to talk about things i see in girls around me. After years in Secondary School, I've developed a weird taste towards gals. Basically, this post is a short sharing of my ideal girl.

I like girls who are, innocent and cute. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a pedophile or some "pervy". I just like it when they are innocent in the mind. When i mention innocent, i don;t expect her to be "mentally clean" (if you know what i mean). What i really hope is that she is 'pure' and treats everyone with love and respect. Girls like that, are just awesome! * Just a no link fetish, i feel that girls with specs that have big frames, like mine, are cute. It makes them look fabulous :)

Moving on, i like girls who can cook/bake. I'm not a guy who enjoys "high quality food". To me, food that taste acceptable is more than enough. So, my ideal girl in the future need not know how to cook super high class food, just edible food will satisfy me.(Other than instant noodles of course X_X). If she tries to cook new stuff, and that new stuff turns out to taste surprisingly awful, i will still compliment her and say GREAT! After all, encouragement will boost her morale!

Plus, i like girls who understands and can communicate with me well. She need not be a super "chio" girl, just one that i can really talk to and one that looks great to me. Basically, i have to be able to look into her eyes and talk to her. Or not, she isn't the one i'm really looking for. 

My ideal girl need not be some smart ass who is super duper capable in the work force. I just need a decent girl, who consistently strives and do her best. That's all i ask for. After all, i don't really want her to stress herself out too much!

My ideal girl has to keep calm and not jump to conclusions that easily. I also hope she doesn't make a fuss and blow up the entire house easily. I really hate that. 

No one is perfect. Perhaps i might not be able to meet such a special girl when i really grow up. What i can do is to hope for it to happen, though its hard. Haha! Anyways, this sums up the entire post. 

GTG. BYE!

CNY review 2014. 下次会更好！

       So peeps, Chinese New Year is finally over ;( How sad! School starts tomorrow. Before that dread even began, let me share some story, or I should say, a review of the Chinese New Year I've spent this year.
       For the first day, 初一, as usual, I get Ang Paos, red packets, from relatives and family members, have lunch at my grandmas home (sumptuous meal :D) and lastly, the "grand finale", going to my distant cousin's house at night. I was kinda anticipating a better experience at my cousins house. Compared to the previous years, this year didn't went as well. (Although they were dressed cutely and prettily. ;) *1) is there even such a word? 2) Not much incest intended..)  There wasn't any "drinks"(random fruits mashed up to form a weird tasting juice) as punishments when we lost in poker games, not much communications with distant cousins, and more... Feels kinda bored.. Plus, I was dragged into watching hunger games 1, which I have completely no idea what the storyline was about as I was drunk. But! I remain awake due to constant "spoiling" of the story by my cousin beside me and the conscious to not let her down. The day basically didn't run well. Hope Next Year's 初一 will be better!
       The second day, 初二, was the day I fell sick. BAD SORE THROAT and I didn't eat any snacks and ba kwa. The day practically was mainstream ttm. Visit maternal grandma, play "Dai Di", leave to 二姨婆's house, go paternal uncles house, play poker, sleep, the end. Kind of boring right, such yearly routine.. But, at least I saw my ah ma, every 初二 night, which kind of saved my day.
       The last day I actually celebrated was 初三. I won $18 man!! From traditional old ah ma game, '四色牌'  some more. It was the first time I was ever in "combat", gambled and poof, money came rolling in. I must be too skillful :P. However, I'm not really into gambling that much, unlike other of my relatives, so yeah, not really that interested in the end results. Just the process of learning how to play is more than enough!
       Overall, this years CNY isn't that interesting after all. Hope that in the future, relatives and cousins can interact with each other more often, rather than being engrossed in their phone's games.. 希望下个新年更好，更有趣 !

冷漠无情？

               我眼中的新加坡是个冷酷无情，国人丝毫没有一点道德心，一点爱心的一个国家。左看右看，大家都以自我为中心，根本都不管他人的死活！

              但有一天，一位善心人让我目睹了他所做的一切，让我再次评估了新加坡纯粹是个缺乏人情味社会的观念。这某人的举动使我重新找回了希望。事情是这样的…

              大约是傍晚六点多钟，天公不做美，突然下起了倾盆大雨，雷声隆隆的。由于是繁忙时段，雨又正下着，大家都纷纷你推我挤的，赶向地铁车站，想尽快回家休息。

              当时，我正坐在巴士车站耐心的等待巴士，也同时静静地观察这些新加坡人的 ‘日常习性’。我心想，”哎！他们怎么就不能有规律的排好队进车站呢？“ 我越想越心寒，但没办法，新加坡人就是这样，没有道德与公德心，就是没有礼让精神！

             想呀想，才忽然发觉一位老阿婆傻乎乎地走到了巴士车站，身子都被大雨淋得像只”落汤鸡“似的。她神情紧张，好像很害怕的样子。

             那位阿婆走向了一位也同样站在巴士站，穿着西装，打着领带的年轻人用着颤抖的手叫了他一声。那位年轻人自高自大，无礼的说：”你要什么” 阿婆回复道：”年轻人啊，我的钱包不见了，没钱搭车回家，你能给我一元的钱搭车吗?” 那位阿婆很诚恳，很有礼的问道。

             等搭巴士的乘客们原本还以为那位年轻人会大发慈悲，把一元钱给那位阿婆，毕竟，以他的穿着来看一元钱对他来说根本不算什么。但大家，包括我，万万没想到，他不仅不给钱，反而还破口大骂道：”你这个骗子，以为装可怜就能骗我的钱？省省吧！没用的!” 他这么一诬赖，有些乘客也信以为真，说道”诈骗集团怎么会请这么一个烂演员呀！哈哈哈！”

             从阿婆的脸上，我能看出她伤心无奈的样子，眼泪就快从眼眶落了下来。我很愤怒，想要站出来帮她时，碰巧一位学生，大约十五岁，从位子上站了起来，走向阿婆。她从钱包里掏出了五元钱，递给了阿婆，还问了她，她家住哪里。听了以后，他耐心的对阿婆说：“阿婆，你在这打车是错的。你应该过对面，乘搭265号巴士，5 个站才会顺利到家。” 接着，他边把手中的雨伞给了那位阿婆。

              这时，其他乘客都目瞪口呆，没想到肯帮阿婆，不停其他人的劝告，竟然是一位中学生。阿婆感激不尽，连忙道谢，说：“谢谢你呀小弟，谢谢你。好人一定会有好报呀!” 那位学生答复，“不客气应该的。”阿婆与学生告别后，那位骄傲自满的年轻人与和他连同诬赖阿婆为骗子的乘客在那瞬间，露出了惭愧，抱歉的表情。

              我走向前，好奇地问那位学生：“你为何在他人都诬赖阿婆的情况下，号是坚决选择帮助阿婆呢?” 他微笑着说：“老师常说，助人为快乐之本，况且那位阿婆没理由只想骗我们一元钱就溜了。所以我判断，这位阿婆应该是真的不见了钱包，没钱打车回家！”

              搭车回家的路上，那位学生说的话，仿佛在我脑海里一直播放着。我非常的高兴与欣慰。高兴在于阿婆终于能顺利到家，欣慰的是，这个我所谓“冷漠”的社会，其实并不那么的冷漠，无情。我意识到，这社会还是有人拥有着爱心与热心待人的态度。这事让我重新评估了以往新加坡社会缺乏人情味的看法。或许要国人有热心，爱心，彼此信任，有着正确的品德，道德观，并不是我一直所想的，不可能！

Dreams!

Dreams

                    I want to be a Hero! An engineer! A scientist! Remember those dreams that you once have while you were young? The excitement and enthusiasm to achieve that goal? Most of the time, our initial passion for our dreams tends to be crushed when someone condemns our ideas, saying that those dreams are simply a futile wish of our own desire and we will never succeed. We were instilled since young that these dreams were impractical and will definitely fail. Gradually, we stop dreaming, stop thinking of what we could have done to succeed, stop trying to be someone we really want to be.

                   Inevitably, when there are dreams, there are bound to be failures. Pursuing after a dream is indeed difficult. However, each time we fail, we learn. Perseverance is the crucial key to success of our dreams. Thomas Edison, had a noble goal, to bring about convenience to the people in the world. Despite approximately three thousand times of failed attempts, he did not succumb to the failures but instead, overcome the obstacle one by one. Eventually, he created the light bulb. Without his dream, his perseverance, we might still be using candles and matches to ignite in the dark. 

   

                  In pursuit of our dreams, we often get criticisms from people around us as they perceived our goals to be impractical. They condemn us, tell us that our dreams are impossible and could never be achieved. Sometimes, we feel insecure and think back doubting whether these dreams could actually be achieved. However, I strongly believe that if we work really hard, achieving our dream is never impossible. If Albert Einstein had listened to his teacher, who constantly calls him slow, insults him as a mentally handicapped child who will never be able to succeed, he will never be able to achieve his dream and become who he was really meant to be, a Scientist, known to the globe till date.

                 When we fail in the quest of hunting our dreams, we should never be too discouraged but rather, set our dreams as the source of motivation to keep us going. Mr Steven Spielberg, a renowned film director had a dream to produce and direct his own movies. However, his movies were once rejected by the University of Southern California, putting his career as well as his dream at danger. Fortunately, after alterations and improvements made on the flaws of his story line, he managed to get his movie approved at the third try. He admitted being discouraged when he failed but shared that his dream was his soul encouragement that spurred him on greatly, constantly motivating him to think of a variety of ways to improve. Currently, he is one of the world’s most prominent movie directors known.

                 With a dream, our life will stay motivated and fruitful, but without it, our life will simply be meaningless and pointless. Have a dream, pursue it to the fullest. Never give up, never be too afraid to try. With that, our dream will eventually succeed!

问题： “对于引进外来人才，新加坡政府是否有必要调整外来人才的人数，以保障国人的就业机会，同时维持新加坡的经济增长。你同意吗？”

          

              “哎呀，这么多的外国人！我们的工作都快被他们抢光了！以后我们的孩子怎么办呀！”这些怨话在新加坡，已经是时有所闻了，无时无刻都能在许多地方听见。随着越来越多国人对于工作挑三选四，某些工作领域出现了严重缺乏人手的现象。为了维持新加坡的经济增长，我国迫于无奈，只好向外引进外来人才，以填补这些被国人唾弃的工作空缺。但这个举动却造成了一些社会问题，有些新加坡人为此而丢失了工作，于是怨声四起，纷纷指责政府罔顾国人的利益，有些人甚至把此课题政治化，认为政府是为了延续执政权而采取的一项政治阴谋！

                 对此课题，我们的组经过详细的讨论后，同意也认为有必要调整引进外来人才的人数，以保障国人的就业机会，同时维持新加坡的经济增长。

                 在新加坡，外来人才的确对我国经济做出了许多的贡献。他们不仅解决了新加坡人力短缺的问题，而且还提高了我国的竞争能力，使我们在某些领域上处于领跑的地位，吸引了不少跨国企业前来投资。

                  举个简单的例子，外来的投需要兴建新的办公楼，大厦，工厂，学校，住屋等。这些工作都需要大量的劳力资源，机械配备，设计专才等等。许多国人不是对这些工作，如；建筑工人，机械操作员，打扫工人等 嗤之以鼻，就是没有所需的专业知识。因此引进外来人才来填补这些空缺是理所当然，迫切需要的。

                    又比如我国的金融业，如果要吸引国际投资机构，银行等前来设立办事处，引进一些具有高度专业知识的外来人才是势在必行的一件事。

                     最后，是服务业，尤其是餐饮业。很多工作如；打扫，收拾碗碟等等，都是国人不喜欢的工作。若不由外来人来填补，那么服务素质及餐馆的卫生情况肯定大打折扣，对于我国蓬勃的旅游业可说是一项重大的打击！

                    外来人才对于我国的贡献可体现在以下的几方面：

第一，        外来人才在衣食住行这方面的开销刺激了本地的经济增长，间接增加了国人的财富。

第二，        外来人才降低了公司的营运成本，促使本地公司能更具有竞争力，继续扩充业务，因而增加了不少就业机会或增加薪水，以避免国人跳槽。本地人也因此获益不少！

第三，        外来人才也引进了不同的文化色彩和生活风格，为我国的多元文化又增添了一些新的元素。

最后，外来人才可以被视为一种提高国人工作技能的推动力。俗话说，“有竞争，才有进  步”。“怕输”的国民，可以把外来人才看作是他们想“击败”的目标，因此而发奋图强，在工作上花更多心思，更多时间，更尽心的完成工作，以免输给那些外来人才。

               可是，看似有利的政策为何却在最近闹得沸声腾腾，国人怨声载道呢？这主要出现了几个问题。

第一，        国人的就业问题。由于外地人才薪水较便宜，因此很多公司便趁此漏洞进行人事大改革，把薪金高，老的员工辞退，用外地人才来取代。在一项访问的过程中，一名新加坡当地男子激动的回答：“很不公平啦！当录取员工时，外来人才所开出的条件，要求比我们较少。再加上他们的潜能与能耐比我们好的关系上，最终我们就没有什么机会得到我们理想的事业/工作！”这项访问显示出，有些当地人对外来人才“抢工作”此时很不满意，认为与外国人相比，当地人没有公平的就业机会。

第二，        国人的生活环境。举个例子；随着这些外来人才的涌入，公共交通在繁忙时段时，变得无比的拥挤与不畅。 这种拥挤现象，连外国媒体也争相报导。据中国新闻网，“新加坡是世界人口密度较高的国家，常住人口达500多万…新加坡地铁的日程客流量为240万人次，上下班市场出现严重拥挤，甚至发生过因拥挤导致乘客受伤的事故，民众对此多有抱怨。” 此外，过多的外地人也造成了一些社会纪律问题，如；大量垃圾的堆积，喧闹，涂鸦，不遵守交通规则等等， 大大影响了国人的起居生活！

第三，        过度引进外来人才，也有可能导致通货膨胀的经济现象。在一项调查所得出的结论，79%的人认为东西价钱膨胀的原因之一，就是因为有了更多的外地人在新加坡生活，对各类物资的需求就会提高。在僧多粥少的情况下，物价上涨是无可避免的后果，这也导致国人认为过多的外来人才是个包袱与负担，心中对外来人才产生了极度的不满！

               不调整外来人才来到新加坡，有可能导致外国人的比率逐渐超越本地国人。现在，38.2% 的新加坡人口属于外来人才。若不尽快采取行动，当地新加坡人可能会逐渐失去对国家的认同感，更糟的是，当地新加坡人也许会移民离开新加坡，到别的国家生活！

               除此之外，若不调整外来人数到新加坡，在极端的情况下，有可能会导致社会扰乱， 更糟的是，更改政府经营国家的政策与手法。

              要在引进外来人才，刺激经济增长的同时，又不会引起国人的不满之间取得平衡，是一件不容易拿捏得准的苦差事。经济虽长，民心却失，是我国政府急需解决的燃眉之急。

              我们认为，羊毛长在羊身上，只要能解决人力短缺的问题，那么我们就不必大量的引进外来人才，就可以避免国人不满的情绪日益高涨。

第一，        从教育上着手，尽量栽培和扩大专学生的数量，并与一些顶尖的海外教育机构合作，吸引他们前来我国设立大专学府，提供一些专业的教育课程。如此一来，我们所培养出来的大专学更能符合市场的要求，从而减少一些跨国企业对外来专才的依赖，同时又能让本地人有机会升上管理层的地位，一举两得，何乐而不为呢？

第二，         从引进人才政策上着手，确保公司只聘用适用或具有专业知识的外地人才，避免滥竽充数的现象发生。

第三，        迅速的改善现有的公共设施，包括住屋，交通等等。同时，多举办一些对话会与民沟通，清楚的解释政策所带来的影响及将会采取的应对措施，以舒解国人的不满。

                毫不疑问的，新加坡必须要有外国人，才有办法达到现有的经济繁荣与成就。虽然外来人才有利于新加坡，但在引进外来人才到本地的同时，我国必须小心翼翼的调整他们进来的人数，以让当地人与外地人好好相处，容纳，避免造成批次之间互相不满和国家不和谐的现象！